it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
