So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
