I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
My cat gives me a boner
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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