I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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