WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
Randomize
