You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
