What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
The beer is more important than you right now.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
