dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
