Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Randomize