You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
