it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Oh god it's open bar.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
