those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
