there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
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I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
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Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Dear god my vagina.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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