dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
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