I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
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I booty called her while she was in labor.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
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I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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