Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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