Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
