i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
