arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
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