fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
I have tasted many bathrooms
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
