So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
