marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Randomize
