Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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