I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
stop calling my apartment porn island.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
