Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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