thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
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