didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
