Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
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