i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
