her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
Randomize
