I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
