just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
