if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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