Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
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