dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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