Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
