Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
