You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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