I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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