There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
How's work?
Spinning.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
