im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize