peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Randomize
