Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
