Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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