I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
Randomize
