Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
Do vagina's smell?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
