the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
