We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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