your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
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