I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
