i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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