She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
mondays should just be called national damage control day
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Randomize
