And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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