You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
