apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Randomize
