I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Randomize
