i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
