Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
