Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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