Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
We have started to decorate penises.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Randomize
