She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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