Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I want her autograph on my taint
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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