I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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