come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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